Wednesday, November 10, 2010


be yourself because the people that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

How young is too young?

The thought has NEVER crossed my mind.... until now. Easy weirdos... He's in his mid-20s.

What's funny is the double standard. I've dated older guys and never thought twice about it. Not even when I was with the "silver fox" kind of guys. I didn't care or think about it really. I even laughed with my friends who joked about it. And I know these older loved to be hanging out with a pretty girl almost two decades younger. What an ego boost!

I don't know why I feel like its wrong to be attracted to a young, good-looking, personable intelligent guy who has great manners. It is so not wrong! F**k that! In fact, big ups to me for still having that kind of pull. That being said, now I know I'm trippin. I'm not trying to marry the guy. He's just super fun to flirt with.


Sunday, August 1, 2010

10 Things I Can No Longer Pull Off as a Woman in my 30s (Part1)

10 Things I Can No Longer Pull Off as a Woman in my 30s (Part1)
1.       Purposefuly tattered mini jean skirts.  Like I can fit into anything at American Eagle anymore anyways... 
2.       Different colored fingernail polish on each fingernail.
3.       Posing proudly with a domestic beer can.  With any can. With any liquor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it, you can drink... 
4.       Not apologizing.
5.       Pajama bottoms/slippers in public.
6.       Pulling all nighters. Oh my god, the eye skin trauma!

to be continued...


Ten Must DOs for a Gal in her 30s

1.       Having some basic manners does wonders. Saying "please" and "thank you" never hurt anybody.
2.       Spend good money on that eye cream. It really works!
3.       Drink a lot of water, especially before , during, and after you drink alcohol. Its a lifesaver when you have improptu drinks on school nights.
4.       Fit in some exercise. Looking good hurts  =)
5.       Take a vacation!
6.       Know when advice is wanted or when a person just wants to vent. Speaking your mind is not always necessary nor welcome.
7.       Keep a close, small circle of family members and very good friends. These are the people who really know you and will give you the best advice ever. Plus, its fun to catch up!
8.       In most aspects, have no shame in your game! Who the hell cares what other people think. But, if news of your social life gets back to the office.... Uh-oh?!
9.       Replace those IKEA pictures on the wall with some art, any art with real character. I’m going to puke if I see the picture with pink daisies on another chic’s wall.
10.   Its ok to be into the Hills and the Jersey Shore. For super-busy girls, fun and mindless shows are super entertaining. I’m soooo hooked.


Monday, May 3, 2010

Tony said this wine spoke to him...

I hope its as good as it looks!


Don't hate, meditate!

I am a snow leopard fighting my way through the snowstorm. Rawr!

Thanks for the advice Rick Ross! This friend shared his freestyle meditation: Pick one animal you like and imagine yourself taking on certain characteristics of that animal. For example, he is a bear. He is calm but if you mess with him, he will hurt you. This dude is always calm. except when he laughs hysterically. Its pretty funny. Being a bear is very apropos for him.

Anywho, I like this concept and have used it when I've had to work get work done late night. Plus, it waaaaay better than being a puma. Thats played out. Just like cougars are. Ha. I shouldn't joke, I might end up being one.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


Yesssss! I love this time of year. No more winter blues! I had a bad case of winter blues this time around, and besides other things, I really do think it has to do with cloudy skies and rain... a typical NorCal winter? Not used to it. I hope spring time in NorCal means sunny days.

Where I come from, San Diego and Santa Barbara, aka the "promise lands" (ha), its warm and sunny everyday...literally. Winter means... nothing. Its nice to experience seasons, but I am fine visiting those places, not having permanent residency there. I like having my golden brown tan all year long (it kinda helps to be Filipino). I don't want to have to carry a jacket around everyday "just in case." I love to see the shine shining and feel warm. People are happier when the sun shines, including me.

Spring also means new beginnings. Although January 1st is a day when people vow to better their lives, its all talk about what they want to do. Now that the sun is out and its Spring, people are motivated to go out and do something about realizing their goals. Work and school goals, love goals, weight goals, any goals are actually being put into action. Now, more people I know have been landing new jobs. I can't tell you how many times I have heard people talking about the new diet she is actually on or new exercise plan she is actually doing. Sun comes out = people make better effort to live healthy = people wear less clothes = everyone looks good = I'm gonna get me some. Yeah!


Monday, February 1, 2010

So long January!

I’ve got whiplash! Twenty-ten just started - didn’t it?

The cool thing about having a birthday on January 2nd is that I get to experience practically the whole year the same age...because there isn’t a whole lot else to celebrate when your birthday follows one of the biggest hang over days of the year.

What I find cool is, I essentially get to wrap my "Fresh Year Approach" with my new age, so I am theoretically, living my new age, 32, somehow more improved over the previous year's model.

This is what is going to make 2010 (say it with me, "twenty-ten, not "two-thousand and ten") better than 2009. I AM GOING TO LET GO.

Isn’t that what our grandmothers told us to do? Why don't we listen to old people?

I seriously have to learn to let go. What the heck am I holding onto bad feelings for? What purpose does the past serve me if the past made me: depressed, angry, anxious, regretful? There is absolutely NOTHING I can do to go back and change things.

I am not saying, I want to ignore everything I've learned up until now, I am saying I want to let the bad sh*t go.

How can I let go of what that "asshole/bitch/whore" has done to me? I have so many more ways to insult them. I have so many acts of revenge to entertain. But why? These people (or perhaps just their actions) who have "wronged" me are draining precious time and mental resources that they don't deserve.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in the last couple of months (thanks therapist!) is forgiveness, forgiveness of others and most importantly forgiveness of myself. Yikes, that one is hard. I literally cringe thinking of the sh*t I have pulled. Seriously, as I am typing this, I feel embarassed. Its like you can see my embarassments as I am thinking them. And for some of you reading this, you probably have!

I have made some seriously stupid decisions in the last couple of years and at times I have wanted to divorce myself. My decisions have lead to a complete change of who I am, and I am not saying its for the better or worse. But I have changed.

Now what do I do with these changes? Do I desperately pretend like the last few years haven’t happened because I vow to now do better? Because I can’t and that’s okay. What is done is done, what was said was said, my feelings were what they were. I am now learning to accept it all.

What I will do now is accept my feelings and most importantly myself. With all my flaws and all those scary things about myself I would like to pretend don’t exist. They are there, like my brown eyes. They are me. The good, the bad and the ugly.

I apply this to others as well. I recognize that while I struggle, those around me do too. I have found new empathy for others. I am less quick to judge and more willing to listen. I am changed. I am older. I am a work in progress. I am 32.


Friday, January 8, 2010


Crying. Not used to it. It sucks.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Happy 2010!

Men! This is the topic I’ve been dreading to bring up, but I know the stories of dating, hooking up, and relationships are what intrigue people. So, here I go…

Yeah right! Like I’m going to discuss the juicy details of my private life There are some things I keep private. I’ll say this: I’m trying to get over an incident that happened with this guy a few months ago. Maybe against my better judgment, after a month of no contact, I have allowed him back into my life. Honestly, the positives outweigh the negatives. He is fun, affectionate; he is a good conversationalist; he is intelligent, and the chemistry esta muy caliente! Despite these positive attributes, I am grounded in reality and well aware what to expect from this man.

Because of my choice, it has been difficult to trust him. I began asking him dumb questions. I felt like I was becoming that type of weak girl I can’t stand or respect…. an insecure one. Sure, I have really weak moments, but in general, I am a confident person. He knows this. To mitigate the damage, he says and does things to make me “feel better,” which surprises me. He is actually doing good work. However, this is only half the battle. I have to work on myself as well. I am learning to not sweat the small stuff.

I know what I have to do: continue living my life; leave the past in the past; not worry about what may happen; not question him all the time. I can only control myself and my actions. Although I know all of this, I don’t know how exactly the steps, or the process, to achieve this mindset and keep true to it…all the time. So, I called up my good friend, Jenny. I recited all of the above to her and asked, “How do I do it?” She said, “Fuck it.” Simple and to the point.

She is so right. All I can do to get over the past is to acknowledge the incident and keep my ass moving forward. I am happy and at peace and will not continuously worry, with or without him. So fuck it. I’m choosing to put my energy into the positives so I remain happy and know that really...he is not going to be around forever.